i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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