God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
another moral hangover. fuck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
