this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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