shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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