He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
