but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You made out with two different species that night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
