when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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