So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
