if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
