I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
