we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
