If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
