The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
