The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
