She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
