I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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