I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I take back everything I said about communal showers
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
