i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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