there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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