I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
