This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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