i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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