Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
