Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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