My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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