My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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