when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
