im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
