ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
