Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
