I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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