yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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