Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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