I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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