she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
