i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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