I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
