Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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