Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
