Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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