I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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