I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
