we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think I sprained my soul last night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
