If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
