Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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