I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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