we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
