Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
