They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
