sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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