this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
